It’s a Flat Earth

I recently watched “Behind the Curve”—a new Netflix documentary about the community of people who believe that the Earth is flat rather than spherical—with the expectation that I’d sit back and have a laugh at the expense of the flat-Earthers. But I was wrong. I was totally swayed. Here are the four major arguments that shifted my thinking; I have a feeling that they will change yours as well:

1. Standing on the ground and staring straight ahead, I can’t see the curve of the Earth. If our planet were round, surely the buildings in the distance would begin to slant, no?

2. The government has proved time and time again that it is willing to lie to the American people in order to keep us docile and ignorant. Why can’t this be just another ploy by the rich and powerful to keep us oppressed?

3. In 1998, while on tour, the science bad boy Bill Nye found himself at a diner in Chicago’s Uptown neighborhood. He ordered only a black coffee and puffed cigarette after cigarette. He dropped a sixty-dollar tip on a dollar-fifty check, flashed the waitress a smile, and invited her out. She told him that she had to finish her shift. Bill looked around at the empty diner and said, “C’mon. Lock up. Let’s go downtown.” Completely smitten, she fell under his spell. Soon they were in a cab and he was showing her the high life. She had never experienced such extravagance.

As the night turned into day, they found themselves in his penthouse. He gave her a kind of pleasure that she’d never known was possible. When she awoke, several hours later, he was gone. Off to a new city. A new girl.

My wife returned to me that afternoon a changed woman. She left me for good a few days later, saying that she had been spoiled rotten and my “broke ass” had nothing to offer her. She took the kids, the dog, and my ability to reconcile the world I was living in.

Certainly, if the Earth were round and we were governed by the scientific laws we’ve been taught since childhood, this menace would not have been able to torpedo in and reduce my life to ruins, right?

4. The flight patterns in the Southern Hemisphere make no sense! Why aren’t there more direct flights straight from Australia to South America? ♦

*** This article has been archived for your research. The original version from The New Yorker can be found here ***