If only we could be inoculated against conspiracy theories as well as COVID-19 | Opinion

• Charles W. Brown is a retired Baptist minister and current broker/agent for health insurance carriers. He resides in Maryville.

Motoring through Maryville one Monday morning, the traffic in my lane became congested and finally stopped. So I turned on the radio and listened to the Knoxville sports-talk show hosted by former University of Tennessee and NFL quarterback Eric Ainge.

While my eyes danced around the local landscape, I spotted the vehicle behind me. Soon, its driver door opened, a male emerged, and then a strange ritual unfolded. Removing his heavy winter coat, he tossed it onto the front seat. Then he unbuttoned his long-sleeve shirt, ripped it off and tossed it into his car also. Now he was down to his undershirt. It might have read Hanes. I am not sure. My vision is not as good as in former years.

In a slow, drizzling, cold rain, what prompted this person to perform a striptease act? Obviously, it was not a shakedown by the local police in search of illegal drugs. Surely it was not an exercise of gross exhibitionism, since all potential witnesses were confined to their automobiles. His limited audience included me in the front car and a lengthy chain of trailing autos. Discounting the cellphone devotees, likely I and only a handful of pavement navigators observed his strange behavior.

Then what explained this Monday morning madness?

Stripping down in the vaccine line

Waiting in the lengthy caravan moving at a snail’s pace, the demonstrator was in line to receive his first drive-by Moderna COVID-19 vaccine under the sprawling medical tent erected in the parking lot of the Blount County Health Department. The health provider had clearly stated the protocol: Wear a short-sleeved shirt to facilitate the vaccination process. So he simply cooperated in advance of arrival by shedding all the clothes that would impede the medical mission.

Thankfully, I did not need to engage in Baptist burlesque in order to receive the first of two vaccines in order to protect myself from the ill effects of COVID-19. Since I am hot-natured, I pulled a short-sleeved summer shirt off the rack, paired it with warm khaki trousers and toasty brown boots, and headed for my vaccine appointment.

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I was encouraged by the large turnout as indicated by the lengthy row of idling vehicles, their drivers patiently waiting as they inched forward in the light drizzling rain. Those who had registered, including myself, had been sent an appointment time via email in order to avoid congestion and promote efficiency.

Conspiracy theories are deadly

The positive community response to the vaccine program belied the prevailing conspiracy theory that the pandemic is a universal hoax and has no scientific support.

The fact is that 545,000 people in the U.S. have died due to COVID-19 or complications from the microscopic pathogen. In addition, 2.75 million people worldwide have vacated their chairs at their family tables due to the virus.

Recently, a colleague stated that he would not take the vaccine because the pandemic was a hoax. If he dies from the virus, perhaps his epitaph should read: “My death is a prank. Don’t believe it!”

It seems that the Flat Earth Society members just will not go away.

During a recent sales appointment, the male prospect stated that his pastor declared that the vaccine would change one’s DNA. Therefore, neither he nor his wife planned to receive the vaccination. Even in light of overwhelming evidence, many deny the reality of this raging monster that has brought our country and much of the world to its knees. It has created a new paradigm for viewing our world. I still take my clues from Dr. Anthony Fauci, the director of the U.S. National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, who continues to emphasize three components for dealing effectively with the threat: Wear a mask, maintain social distancing, and wash your hands.

The latest report is that with the introduction of the vaccine, the death count has begun to decline. Now if we can just formulate a similar vaccine to combat the truth-denying conspirators, we just might survive.

Charles W. Brown is a retired Baptist minister and current broker/agent for health insurance carriers. He resides in Maryville.