No ‘Crime of the Century’ found in Arizona’s audit? Color me shocked

The wait is over, America.

After five truly astonishing months – after spinning ballots and bamboo hunts and a fair amount of evidence that Trump ninjas make for bad auditors – the draft results of Arizona’s UV lighted, 5G photographed study of Maricopa County’s 2.1 million ballots are in.

Turns out there was a “Crime of the Century” of sorts, after all. Just not the one Donald Trump claimed. 

No, the real crime was the methodical, mind blowing assault on our democratic process – one committed by Senate President Karen Fann, her ninja auditors and a shockingly high number of Arizona’s leading lights, including Sens. Wendy Rogers, Sonny Borrelli, Kelly Townsend and Reps. Mark Finchem and Shawnna Bolick. And you, Kari Lake, who hoped to ride this dead horse into the Governor’s Office and you, Arizona GOP Chairwoman Kelli Ward. 

And, no I haven’t forgotten about you, Reps. Andy Biggs, Paul Gosar and Debbie Lesko. On Jan. 6, you voted to throw out the results of your own state’s election.

Well, after 10 months of conspiracy theories that have torn this state (and nation) apart, the draft results of Arizona’s audit are in and they show … Joe Biden won.

By a larger margin than previously reported. 

So much shame to go around today, as we await the findings of the final report.

Until then, here are a few things I expect to see (and not see) when the report is released later today: 

About all those once-hot conspiracy theories

1.   We won’t hear anything about shredded ballots found in dumpsters or Sharpies stealing votes in Republican precincts.

We won’t see proof that hundreds of thousands of undocumented immigrants voted, as Trump lawyer Rudy Giuliani suggested during a hearing in November.

And we won’t see evidence that hundreds of thousands of ballots are missing, as suggested in June by a far-right congressional candidate then spread coast-to-coast by far-right propagandists posing as reporters.

We won’t hear anything about 40,000 Biden ballots secretly flown in from Asia or about a Venezuela-inspired plot to rig Dominion Voting Systems equipment or any of the various conspiracies floated over the last 10 months to keep Republican tempers high and donations flowing.

And about those 100,000-plus suspicious ballots that head ninja Doug Logan highlighted and Trump trumpeted in July – including 74,000 early ballots that were counted but never requested by voters? (I believe Trump called them “magically appearing ballots.”)

Don’t expect to hear about them either. That bombshell promptly blew up in Logan’s face when Maricopa County explained how the inexperienced auditors were misinterpreting data.

Look for little in the way of guns that smoke

2.   Even though Biden won, the Cyber Ninjas still will insinuate that something nefarious happened here. You don’t hire an auditor who has both promoted conspiracy claims and worked elsewhere with Trump allies challenging the election results and get anything other than a conclusion that fraud was afoot.

Most likely, the ninjas will announce they’ve found questionable election practices that suggest fraud and if only the county had cooperated and if only the ninjas had had more time and – this is key – more money, they could produce irrefutable proof that Trump was robbed of Arizona’s vote.

Look for plenty of talk about “vulnerabilities” and little in the way of guns that smoke.

Friday’s festivities begin at 1 p.m. with a presentation at which no questions can be asked, followed by a press conference. Only then is the actual report expected to be released.

If the Senate and its auditors had irrefutable proof, I’m guessing they wouldn’t be releasing their report at mid-afternoon on a Friday, evening on the East Coast.

This nightmare isn’t over

3.   This audit will change not a single mind.

If you believe the election was stolen, you will come away from this saying, aHA. Some of our leading lights didn’t even wait for the results to demand that the election be decertified.

And if you believe – as every test and sample hand count required by state law showed and as the draft audit shows – that the election results were accurate, that Biden won, you will come away saying, SEE?

Nobody’s mind will be changed, which means this audit, supposedly launched to “restore voter confidence”, is an epic fail.

“The tabulation equipment counted the ballots as they were designed to do, and the results reflect the will of the voters,” Maricopa County Supervisors Chairman Jack Sellers, said, in a press release. “That should be the end of the story.”

Should be, but, of course, it won’t be. 

This shameful exercise in undermining democracy isn’t over. Not here in Arizona and not across the nation. There are political points to be scored, after all, and ambitions to be stroked and money to be made.

Translation: Our long national nightmare is far, tragically far, from over.

Reach Roberts at laurie.roberts@arizonarepublic.com. Follow her on Twitter at @LaurieRoberts.

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*** This article has been archived for your research. The original version from The Arizona Republic can be found here ***