Will it be JFK Jr. or someone else who visits the QAnon conspiracy theorists?

Or perhaps mow the grassy knoll.

I’m not a member of that particular conspiracist community, but I’m nevertheless hoping to reap some benefit. My dream? That if and when JFK Jr. finally arrives, he will bring with him all the socks that have mysteriously departed this world during a seemingly routine spin through the laundry cycle. Or, if he bought one of those Lazarus Airlines tickets that only allows the dearly departed a carry-on bag, at least those socks that in happier days went for $10 or more a pair. I’m imagining a joyful reunion with a certain dark blue herringbone-patterned Johnston & Murphy dress sock, whose mate has been forlornly awaiting his/her return in the singletons-I’m-not-ready-to-give-up-on-yet basket for two years now.

I’m not suggesting that would be JFK Jr.’s only reason for making the trip back from the realm of the dearly departed. Something loftier must be on one’s mind to undertake such a long and possibly turbulent spiritual journey.

Remember some years back when JFK Jr. gave some of his cousins in the clan’s Robert F. Kennedy wing an in-print tweak for their family-brand-tarnishing behavior? Perhaps he’s still on that mission. Maybe he’ll say something along these lines:

“I know lots of you listen to my cousin Bobby’s nonsense about the supposed dangers of getting vaxxed. You shouldn’t. He’s just worried that if scientists keep inventing marvelous new vaccines, pretty soon they’ll come up with one for cluelessness, and poof: He’ll be a troll without a role. Q wants you to know that the vaccines are safe and effective — and no, they won’t turn you into a refrigerator magnet.” That message would certainly introduce a fun new wild card into the game of Crazy Eights being played in the Conspiratorialist Coffee House.

These flights back from the world beyond are rare things indeed, so I’m sure others would argue there are more important potential passengers than JFK Jr. No doubt the bereft investors in the bitcoin operation whose curator died with the password extant only in his now-eternally-closed-for-business cranium would like him to reappear, open the digital lockbox, and set their cryptocurrency free. Given that they’re out $250 million, I’d grant their need is more urgent than the plight of Americans like me, who merely suffer from cold toes on fancy occasions. But I don’t see that happening. My guess is the Crypto Keeper is at the high-stakes Texas Hold’em table in the Big Casino in the Sky, holding aces and eights and betting large.

What if, instead of JFK Jr., the figure who emerges from the mist is legendary pilot and World War II flying ace Chuck Yeager, who confides that, at Hillary Clinton’s behest, he used the big Jewish space laser Marjorie Taylor Greene has warned us about to force Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 down on a remote private island owned by the Clinton Foundation, where passengers and crew were brainwashed into thinking they were Trump supporters — and then sent to storm the Capitol on Jan. 6? That would certainly teach a lesson to those of us who scoffed at the notion that the MAGA insurrection was a false-flag operation!

Or maybe the person who appears will be Rasputin, returning with a special message for a modern-day agent of court intrigue: “Steve Bannon, my epigone-ovich, you must abandon your just-off-a-three-day-bender stubble and grow a long mystic’s beard. Furthermore, enough with the one button-down-shirt-atop-another Russian-nesting-doll outfits. That says ‘1980s prepinski fop,’ not ‘brooding alt-right disrupter.’ Palace scheming is serious business, and here in the Netherworld, you are giving our profession a bad name.”

Of course, it could be Edgar Allan Poe who comes gently rapping at the celestial/terrestrial door, returning to complain that he doesn’t want the feathered hero of his famous poem associated with a Baltimore football team that could barely beat the Minnesota Vikings at home.

“Ravens?” he might impart in a ghostly warble before fading back into the mist. “Nevermore.”

But whoever arrives to visit the QAnoners, could everyone please keep their fingers crossed for my lost sock?

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Scot Lehigh is a Globe columnist. He can be reached at scot.lehigh@globe.com. Follow him on Twitter @GlobeScotLehigh.

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