April 8, 2023

Elon Musk’s Twitter recently officially branded NPR “state-affiliated media.” The label is not only undeniably true, but probably an understatement. Nonetheless, the designation predictably caused John Lansing, National Public Radio’s CEO, to clutch his pearls and attempt to un-bunch his panties.

By way of reply, Lansing issued this laughably preposterous statement:

“NPR and our Member stations are supported by millions of listeners who depend on us for the independent, fact-based journalism we provide. NPR stands for freedom of speech and holding the powerful accountable.”

Now tell us the one about the three bears, John. Sometimes Babylon Bee articles almost write themselves.

While the mainstream media has leaned liberal since Moby Dick was a minnow, it has recently gone full-on Marxist in lockstep with the Democrat party. Nearly every outlet uses virtually the same phrases to denounce conservatives and further its agenda.

Guns bad. Abortion rights good. “Toxic masculinity” bad. “Trans women” good. Appropriation bad. Biological men in women’s locker-rooms and bathrooms good. Climate change bad. Fundamentally transforming the United States good. And on and on, ad infinitum.

The mainstream media will vociferously proclaim any conspiracy theory to be true, and any truth to be a conspiracy theory. Doubt that? They aggressively and shamelessly promoted the “Russian-Collusion” fallacy for well-nigh two years but reported that the Hunter Biden laptop story “had all the earmarks of Russian disinformation.” Then came their reporting on the coronavirus pandemic, and the subsequent mask, social-distancing and vaccine mandates. Etc., etc., etc.

ABC recently went so far as to blur out the front of the podium at which Donald Trump was delivering his post-indictment speech, so those watching couldn’t see the number that was placed there for them to text if they wanted to receive official campaign notifications and updates. Yet no network has ever deigned to prevent people from reading any message on any podium at which Joe Biden was speaking, before or after he became president.

If the Democrat party were to proclaim—tomorrow—that the Earth was flat, within minutes MSNBC would solemnly aver, “The Earth is flat.” CNN would breathlessly announce: “The Earth is flat.” NBC would report, “The Earth is, indeed, flat.” CBS would cry, “Turns out, the Earth is flat.” ABC would declare: “The science is now settled. The Earth is flat.”

The New York Times would run a front-page banner headline, above the fold, stating unequivocally, “Experts Say Earth Is Flat, Far-Right Flat-Earth Deniers A Danger to Humanity.” The Washington Post would run with, “Far-Right Flat-Earth Deniers A Danger to Humanity, Experts Say.”