Listen to some gems from QAnon: The Musical

Did you know that there are at least two musicals about QAnon? They are both rather unimaginatively named “QAnon: The Musical.” 

The first satirizes QAnon and was created by comedy music group Un5Gettable—which includes Joe Cameron, Kyle Cothern, Brendan Hawkins, Ryan Richards, and Zach Harris. It debuted at the IndyFringe Theatre Festival in Fall 2022. WRTV explains:

In 2021, post-Jan. 6 insurrection, Cameron started making 1-minute TikTok songs that mocked the conspiracy theorists by quoting QAnon followers. 

“The way I deal with things is with humor,” Cameron said. “I was only using, in my lyrics, actual things that they believe in, or have said in the media.” As a result, he says, “The songs sound ridiculous, but it’s literally 100% true from their perspective, you know?”

The QAnon Musical is set up like a children’s TV show, in which “The Truth Team” teaches the audience about QAnon. “On stage, we kind of act like The Wiggles, or like Barney,” Cameron said. “Just because, it felt like the softest, more palatable way to deliver our message.”

And that message, delivered in a 50-minute faux live-taping of singing and dancing, is, at its core, Cameron said, about “being decent to one another.” “We all have friends and family who believe different things, but that shouldn’t necessarily mean that the end of a relationship, you know. So that’s really like the broad message that we’re delivering through all this ridiculous stuff,” Cameron said.

The other one, however, was created by true QAnon believers—which makes it infinitely more interesting to me (sorry, Un5Gettable, no hard feelings, please),  but also clearly more dangerous because it’s yet another avenue for indoctrination and right-wing radicalization. I first heard of this one when Travis View, one of the hosts of my second favorite podcast, QAnon Anonymous (QAA), tweeted at the end of March, “Real lyrics from QAnon: The Musical“:

There will come a day 

When things will go our way 

When the righteous will seize the day 

When evil will dissipate 

Where kids can go and play

Safe from ped-ah-phil-lee-ay 

Make the world a better place Join QAnon today

The lyrics are so cringe, and it’s hard to believe that, even after all these years, people take believe this stuff. But people do—and they also use those beliefs to justify violence, including the January 6 attack on the U.S. Capitol. So, I continue to take QAnon and its adjacent movements seriously. 

QAA provided a deeper look into QAnon: The Musical in their Episode 225: Undercover at Reckoning Fest in Frisco, Texas, an episode they describe this way:

QAnon the Musical, Baby Trump, poetry, charcuterie, a Frank Sinatra impersonator, “JFK Jr” AKA Juan O Savin and members of the -48 QAnon numerology cult — including rapper Pryme Minister. We headed to Texas to attend one of the most melted QAnon events yet. It did not disappoint.

QAnon: The Musical is being produced by Greg Bergman, who, in 2014, wrote, directed, and starred in a documentary called “Big Like Me,” which IMDb describes like this:

Big Like Me is the story of comedian Greg Bergman’s obsessive quest to enlarge his penis. After a failed experiment using pills, pumps and other so-called methods, Bergman travels to a surgeon in Tijuana, Mexico where he risks everything (including his marriage) to fulfill what he sees as his destiny. Unlike other milder and so-called “documentaries” on the subject, Bergman pulls no punches in this hysterical and disturbing look at one’s man’s darkly funny descent into phallocentric delirium.

The QAA hosts explain that QAnon: The Musical is supposed to be a spoof of Les Miserables, and quote Bergman, who describes the plot of the musical: “In a post-apocalyptic America, patriots Johnny Vall and his son Brandon must travel to Epstein Island to face off with Dr. Bill Gates before he unleashes the next killer vaccine.” 

Episode 225 is awesome, as the QAA goes under cover at Reckoning Fest, which happened March 25, 2023 in Frisco, Texas. The Reckoning Fest website bills it as “The Biggest Patriot Spring Event Ever” and promises the chance to “connect/network with thousands of other patriots.” Definitly go listen to the episode if you want a glimpse into that world. You can also hear three songs from QAnon: The Musical that the undercover QAA folks recorded. They were all performed Wade Williams, who describes his music on his Facebook page as “Inspiring Country/Americana.” The first song appears at 33:06 and is called “2000 Mules,” and includes these lyrics:

2000 mules, they’re counting on 300 million fools, that’s what they think you are

2000 mules, they’re counting on 300 million fools, that’s what they think we are

Then there’s a cringey hip-hop Hamilton style” interlude, which includes the lyrics: “Hey Joe Biden, we’ll see you in hell! I mean, I won’t be there, but Hilary will keep you company.”

The QAA hosts give the production a 4 out of 10, “It’s pretty clear he’s using garage band loops.” But overall, it earns a 6/10: “The main piano line and the melody is a little bit catchy. That part is nice.” I have to agree, and it pains me to do so.

The second song starts at 59:22—it’s called “False Flag,” and contains a terrible transphobic “joke” about Michelle Obama, along with lyrics promoting the offensive belief that Sandy Hook school shooting was a false flag. 

The third and final song from QAnon: The Musical starts at 1:20:06—it’s called “QAnon and On and On.” This is the one containing the lyrics that Travis View tweeted. I found a video online of this one, posted by the QAnon: The Musical YouTube channel, with the description, “Preview of Song from LIVE performance of QAnon: The Musical™ STAY TUNED for Upcoming shows! Bergman Film Company.” I’m including it for your viewing pleasure/horror. 

And there you have it, folks. Don’t hate me, I’m just the messenger.