David Crosby’s bizarre UFO theory

The late great David Crosby was no ordinary folk musician. At the height of his haywire days, he was caught by police backstage in a Dallas nightclub freebasing cocaine with a propane tank in one hand, a brown bottle in the other, and a .45-caliber semiautomatic in his possession. He was arrested and sentenced to five years in jail. It was a dark patch that we usually equate with stars of the punk rock variety rather than angelic songbirds who purvey the sweetness of an old dogeared acoustic.

Thankfully, Crosby was able to put these dark days behind him and lead a more virtuous path in his later years. However, he was always liberated enough to not mind voicing his very singular views. One of which pertained to his steadfast view that we must achieve peace… and then explore space at all costs. “We need to go find out what’s out there,” he once tweeted, “it’s our destiny… if we are smart enough.”

When asked about this by Sonic Breadcrumbs, he happily opined: “Now, I don’t believe in many laws. I don’t obey many laws, but the law of averages I pay very strict attention to it because it works out to be true,” Crosby said. “The law of averages tells me that you can’t have that many opportunities and have us be the only time intelligent life developed. That’s just not working. Too many opportunities. They’re out there. I guarantee you, there are other intelligences out there now. Right now. It’s just too many chances. It can’t be any other way.”

That’s a level of certainty that Crosby usually only reserved to his character references for Neil Young, but beyond his view of life in the universe, he has a theory that some of that life may have visited us. “They are real, man,” he said in regards to recently declassified UFO reports. “What I think is that they were here a long time ago. They took a look at us a long time ago and classified us as babies and said, ‘The infant race over here might turn out.’ And quarantined us.”

He equates this extraterrestrial tactic to the same way that human anthropologists treat certain uncontacted tribes here on Earth, whereby we observe but steadfastly attempt to avoid contact so as not to interfere with the primitive innocence of their lifestyle (and immunological vulnerability). “There was a bunch of people in, I think, Borneo that were still stone age. They were A tribe that they found that was still stone age. They quarantined them. They said, ‘You can’t take metal in there. They’re too good an anthropological treasure. You can’t fuck it up.’ So, they quarantined them. I think that’s what they did to us,” Crosby wildly theorised.

The folk singer continued: “They said, ‘This is a baby race. They don’t know what they’re doing. They’re still killing each other.’ And they go, ‘I think you have to invent a good enough tribe to get you out into space. And then you have to stop killing each other before we’ll actually have anything to do with you.’ I think they’ve been here many times. I think some of them were probably poachers and probably some of them were park rangers, casing the poachers.”

So, should we ever learn the ways of these alien poachers and park rangers then we must first find peace with each other as a species and then seemingly enlist Jeff Bezos or something to see how we network the cosmos. Becasue, as Crosby concludes: “I think they’re definitely out there. I think they probably have been here.”