Royal Interior Chemtrail Pilots make conspiracy theorists laughable again
If you’ve ever looked to the sky, saw the trails left by planes and wondered what it was, a new Facebook group in Merritt confirms that you should assume the absolute worst.
Or at least poke fun at those that do assume the worst.
The Royal Interior Chemtrail Pilots page is a satirical twist on the conspiracy theory that the government is spraying citizens with mind-altering chemicals from planes as a form of control. It’s clever, funny and an exquisite take for 2023 when conspiracy theories routinely travel faster than the truth.
Getting an interview wasn’t easy; the pilots are anonymous and the phone number posted on the page is fake.
“We’re a covert operation and the people behind it must remain secret,” they said through messenger. “We have a profile you could use, but that’s fake as well.”
They agreed to answer questions, though discreetly through messenger, and didn’t fail to remain in character.
“(An interview) would be great – the mainstream media is supposed to be in cahoots with mainstream conspiracies like chemtrail appliers, after all,” they said. “Neither the police nor any local news outlets like the Nicola Valley Prudent Inquirer has yet found time to interview us, which is especially disappointing as they’re usually interviewing anyone completely unbiased, whether they exist or not.”
The page regularly posts photos of their work in the skies but often commenters can’t see the humour. Many seem to think they really are pilots spraying the skies, question the pilots and don’t seem to understand their hilarious responses.
“Why don’t you do us all a favour and go Kamikaze,” one angry and clueless commenter wrote. “Murdering your own children… good for you…. Murderer!!”
“That’s libel,” the Pilots responded.
While the page has only gained 293 followers since starting up in April, it’s one of the funniest feeds on social media.
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Right away, the pilots and “affiliated ground crew” denied being conspiracy theorists.
“We are conspiracy pragmatists: We see the theories of others and use them in ways that people with all related beliefs find engaging,” they said. “We’re one of the few covert ops social media presences on the internet and will use our own material, contributed material, and relevant net finds. Like other covert ops social media accounts related to chemtrails, we’ll visually enhance pictures where we find the effort to be in our viewers’ interest.”
According to their page, The Royal Interior Chemtrail Pilots are a public utility company that has an air and ground crew based in Merritt where they mix up chemicals and spray them in skies over communities in the “Okanagan and Interior Regions of BC and all independent municipalities.”
When asked when and why the crew first started mixing and spraying chemicals, someone named Jerry was mentioned.
“We chose to make Merritt the base last April, due to the low tie down fees and competitive fuel prices at the airport,” they said. “Jerry has more exact data on how long the services have been provided, but he’s on paternity leave atm. The weather is almost always how we like it – that’s why we love doing this job.”
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The “pilots” post photos of weather, landscapes, planes and strange cloud formations from around the province. They also post colour enhanced photos of planes flying over cities in the Interior that look like they’re spraying colourful chemtrails whether rose-coloured to “cheer people up” or gold to create sunsets by adding a chemical called “Aurum” to the “regular cloud control mixture.”
“Yes, the Aurum additive is one of the few things we can do to visually enhance the sky now when there’s a lot of smoke in the air and some cities like Kelowna need lots of cheer,” they said. “The chemicals we’re using have great effects, especially the antioxidants. There are some trade secrets about the composition of the marinade, the nickname for the liquid in the tanks, we can’t share too much about.”
When asked if they’ve been able to maintain anonymity, the pilots admitted, some in the community are suspicious and there’s been pushback from the public.
“It’s a small community, we go to the same events, shop at the same stores,” the pilots said. “If you don’t take off your pilot’s hat before you head to the farmers market people start suspecting your profession. We got banned from at least one community Facebook page and often can’t get our posts through to others. We’ve been called ‘fake’ and ‘villains’ and people are catching on that boiling vinegar solution in big pots on their yards distorts our grid patterns.”
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A photo of a scaly blue, alien-like pilot with chemtrails in the sky behind it is shown on the page. The pilots said it’s a “half-bred repto pilot named Karl,” a photo “taken by accident,” and no other pilots are shown on the site.
The pilots are looking forward to a busy year working in the skies over much of the BC Interior.
“Sharing is caring and spraying is a great way to share,” they said.
Go here to see what the Royal Interior Chemtrail Pilots are up to.
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