Ask Lucas: My cousin is a conspiracy theorist. How do I get him to take off the tinfoil hat?

Dear Lucas: My cousin keeps sending me conspiracy theory videos on social media. Recently, he sent me one alleging 5G chips are being hidden in COVID-19 vaccines. How do I get him to take off the tinfoil hat?

Dear Reader: First of all, I look great in silver, thank you very much. Second of all, don’t try to debunk his conspiracy theories. Lean in, as the kids say.

Yes, I’m telling you to get him into more conspiracy theories. Start with the classics.

Oh, you think the Earth is flat? I’ll do you one better. Did you know the CIA performed mind control experiments on unwitting Americans using LSD during the Cold War. It was part of an operation called MKUltra, and when the CIA got caught, they destroyed many of the files.

What’s my source on this? The CIA’s website.

Conspiracies, defined as secret plans to do something illegal or wrong, are more common than we often think. Some, such as the opioid epidemic, redlining or oil companies covering up evidence of climate change seem so banal we forget they are conspiracies.

The problem with conspiracy theorists is that, while they’re right to question authority, the field is rife with pseudo-intellectuals, antisemites and grifters selling beet juice at a 900% markup.

It’s also important to remember that just because a person or organization has done sketchy things, doesn’t mean everything people say about them is true.

For example, just because the CIA successfully conspired with United Fruit Company (now known as Chiquita) in the ‘50s to overthrow the Guatemalan government doesn’t mean you should listen to the guy on TikTok who says the U.S. government is run by communist, lizard necrophiliacs who planned 9/11.

It’s okay to believe in conspiracy theories, just, you know, make sure they’re real first. Do some research and question your own biases and internal narratives. Remember, people pushing conspiracy theories have agendas of their own that can be just as nefarious as the people they’re criticizing.

When you pass along conspiracy theories to your cousin, make sure you back it up with credible information. Want to let him know about the Chinese government’s decades-long pattern of harvesting organs from political prisoners? Don’t send him some sweaty idiot’s YouTube rant. Send him a link to the 562-page international tribunal report that documents the practice.

Demanding a high standard of proof before believing something will help set a good example, and hopefully your cousin will follow suit and filter out some of his less-informed ideas.

The space between your ears is more valuable than ever. Don’t let some jerk selling herbal supplements take up residence there unless they can actually back up what they’re saying.

Look at this handsome fella. His name is Lucas and he will be writing more columns like this, despite common sense saying this should stop while he’s ahead. If you want to send hate mail or, for some reason, ask for his advice, please send an email to ldaprile@cleveland.com.