Welcome to the world of conspiracy theories, Nigel: here are some even wackier ones for your febrile mind
When Nigel Farage needs to speak truth to power, he now only needs to raise questions on the actual floor of the House of Commons.
Yet this week, after the horrendous knife attack at a dance class in Southport, he recorded a video asking “one or two questions”.
“Was this guy being monitored by the security services?” he wondered. He then linked those horrific and deadly stabbings with the stabbing of a soldier in Kent and said: “I just wonder whether the truth is being withheld from us.”
After that, he just left those thoughts to drift out into the ether where they collected with other dubious claims on social media, some, it is said, that originated in Russia (a country keen to sow confusion and chaos in countries such as ours).
Soon onto the streets, from Hartlepool to London, poured scores of people who lobbed bricks and glass bottles, set fire to police cars and, in Southport, attacked a mosque (thanks to unsubstantiated claims that the attacker shouted “Allahu Akbar”). They chanted the likes of “Stop the boats” and “we want our country back.”
But why did he take to X (formerly known as Twitter), when he has that marvellous chance to air his questions directly to power in the House of Commons? Of course, that means digging out one’s pass, going there, finding the appropriate debate or statement and then bobbing up and down to get the Speaker’s attention.
Which sounds like no fun at all. Much better to record an allegation of establishment cover-up, drop that little petard and then, as it explodes a hundred or so miles away, seek refuge in the pub.
So welcome Nige, to the world of online conspiracy of which you seek to be the new prince. Welcome, and meet the crazies and the cranks, the loonies and the crackpots. And, as you’re the new arbiter of such larks, here are some other questions you could ask if you ever deign to make an appearance in the House of Commons.
Will the Prime Minister confirm to the House that the moon landings were faked? That the fluttering US flag was planted in a studio with a wind machine because there is no wind on the moon? And that the weird shadows and additional light sources further prove the hoax? Oh, and has the Prime Minister viewed the footage that I have that appears to show wires that were attached to the astronauts and hoisted them about the set?
Could the Prime Minister furthermore confirm that it was in fact the US government that blew up the Twin Towers and not Osama bin Laden? Indeed the Prime Minister will doubtless have viewed the 9/11 footage that clearly shows the explosions on each floor as the towers collapse. Can I also ask him if he believes, as I and every right-thinking person does, that it was missiles that hit the various targets and not hijacked planes?
Can the Prime Minister also confirm that the world is controlled by a banking cabal, run very probably by the Rothschilds from their villa in Corfu? Does he agree with me that they hoard money and weapons and control the world via their invisible totalitarian regime?
And, Mr Speaker, would the Prime Minister also admit to this House that Covid was deliberately unleashed on the population as a method of control by the above, or other mysterious forces who then added in vaccinations as a sort of controlling top-up? Oh, and that Covid was spread by the 5G network?
It also falls to me, as the representative of the good people of Clacton, to press the Prime Minister on the very real danger that the world is run by reptilian shapeshifters, that aliens built the pyramids, and that the Illuminati (headquartered at Denver International Airport) is fronted by Beyoncé.
Have fun with that lot Nige, if you ever make it to the Commons. And if the PM is away, speak to his deputy, Angela Rayner. As I understand it, she was behind the recent attempted assassination of Donald Trump.
