Conspiracy theories are still alive and well in the year of our lord 2024. 54% Americans, for example, believe that Lee Harvey Oswald did not definitely or probably did not act alone in the assassination of John F. Kennedy.

But there are some conspiracy theories so silly that it’s hard to believe anyone would think they’re true. One person recently asked online, “What’s the most absurd conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard?” And people had all sorts of answers, from the moon being a hologram to JFK’s head just bursting open on its own. So don’t hesitate and scroll away for some conspiracy entertainment!

#1

That light bulbs don’t emits light but are “Dark suckers” instead.

Image credits: Kartoon67

#2

Finland Isn’t Real.

A high school kid made it up as a joke, and a whole lot of people took him seriously.

Image credits: Jaustinduke

#3

That the Powerball lottery in the US was created to catch time-travellers.

Image credits: Fresh-Hedgehog1895

#4

Lindsey Lohan actually had a twin sister who played the twin in The Parent Trap, but between filming and release, the twin died in a car accident, so they marketed the film to make you think Lindsey played both roles.

Image credits: Ben-Stanley

#5

That Microsoft employees were the ones buying up PS5s and causing the console shortage.

Image credits: Casca_In_Red

#6

There is an underground group of billionaires controlling the world

Buddy, there’s already an above ground group of billionaires controlling the world.

Image credits: Thomas_Chinchilla

#7

Skittles and M&Ms were secretly created by Big Pharma to condition kids to the idea of associating pill-shaped candies as delicious, so they are subconsciously predisposed to being addicted to pills as an adult.

Image credits: FloridaManZeroPlan

#8

Last year when the Chinese lunar rover saw that strange square rock out in the distance, I heard some people claim that it was the stage they used to fake the moon landings. On the moon…

Yeah, it turned out to be just a rock.

Image credits: Bicentennial_Douche

#9

I’m swinging between two.

CT-A: Western dairy manufacturers put pigs milk in cheese to prevent Muslims from going to heaven after they die. This is absurd because pigs are super hard to milk; their milk isn’t a whole lot per pig; it lasts hours, not days; and their milk tastes like hot tar smells.

Edit: Yes, the taste is first hand. I asked once as a kid (Farmer relatives.) and I was fed a teaspoon of fresh pigs milk. Milk of magnesia tastes better. Yuck.

CT-B: Nuclear weapons doesn’t exist. Self-explanatory.

Image credits: The_Pastmaster

#10

There were no gunmen in Dallas. JFK’s head just did that. It’s called the “no bullet theory”.

Image credits: Greghole

#11

Nearly all celebrities are transgender. “Transvestigators” pore over pictures and videos of famous people, pointing out how “she has a strong jawline” or “he has feminine body language”. Apparently, the whole world is controlled by a secret trans cult, and if you want to become famous, you need to transition.

Image credits: mireille_galois

#12

The moon is a hologram because the real moon was blown up by nukes (possibly by Nazis?) and we would apparently just all go insane if we looked up at the sky and didn’t see a moon so they had to make a fake one.

Image credits: badgersprite

#13

Flat earthers. I don’t think they actually believe, I think they are all just trolling us.

Image credits: ISpewVitriol

#14

Albert Einstein didn’t exist and was just a character played by Marilyn Monroe.

Image credits: Your_Local_Heretic

#15

That Princess Diana was murdered because she was a descendant of Jesus.

Image credits: yeahnoyeah03

#16

Reptiles. A local newspaper went as far as pointing out features you can use to recognize them and according to said features, I am a lizard too.

EDIT: Reptilians! I meant reptilians. Still am a lizard apparently, though.

Image credits: cedrella_black

#17

Avril Lavigne died in 2003 and was replaced by an exact double called Melissa. People in the YouTube comments of her videos analysing her face and movements to determine if it’s really her or Melissa, absolutely wild.

Apparently there’s a similar one for Paul McCartney.

Image credits: earthmarrow

#18

That the Santa Claus letter writing campaign was a covert operation to database Canadian and American children. You’d write a letter to H0H 0H0 postal code with your name, return address, fingerprints on the letter, and DNA on the licked envelope adhesive.

Image credits: provocateur133

#19

Contrails in the sky are a chemicals that makes you gay.

Image credits: Mitchie-San

#20

The Covid lockdowns were there to replace the birds with bird-like drones.

Image credits: fluffy_munster

#21

That the titanic was switched with its sister ship and wasn’t really sunk.

#22

That people whose blood group has a minus after it, like mine does, aren’t descended from the same ape creatures the rest of the world is. That the minus proves our lineage was “introduced” to the gene-pool, instead of evolved.

#23

The 100% female, Chinese army, who have never been nerfed by blue light, that are biding their time in underground bunkers in the mountains of China.

According to my neighbor, the one child policy was introduced as a way for China to secretly build up an army of specially trained soldiers. There was never a mass killing of baby girls. They were all sent to underground facilities where they would spend their entire lives being trained in combat and espionage. They will only reveal themselves when China decides to attack the US mainland.

Also! China adds the harmful blue light to the electronics they ship around the world in order to cripple the military might of other countries by wreaking havoc on their sleep cycles. Prolonged sleep deprivation in a large population can cause widespread mental illness and behavioral problems that will follow any service person into their military career. China doesn’t give their lady-soldiers any electronics with blue light, so they stay in perfect sync with their circadian rhythm and avoid the mental illnesses and behavioral problems that currently affect much of today’s youth.

When I asked why China only wanted women super soldiers, he said that the final stage in their plan for world domination was forced repopulation (because obviously the war would tank the US population) with Chinese genes. By having each female soldier get pregnant with a surviving US man’s child, those children would have dual citizenship, and if enough US citizens had Chinese citizenship then they would control the US no matter what the end result of the war was.

Gotta love crazy neighbors ?

Edit: My inbox is full of people telling me this is all fetish stuff, but I truly believe my neighbor is too scared to be horny. Unless he’s rocking a fear-ection along with his tin foil hat, this is all just crazy doing as crazy does.

#24

Someone mentioned Paul McCartney, but only in passing.

The “Paul is Dead” conspiracy suggests Paul died in 1966 and was replaced with a lookalike/soundalike/write-alike because The Beatles were too famous to shut down, but meanwhile they drop hints into future songs to let ‘real fans’ know something isn’t right.

Aside from it being ridiculous on its face, I will point out all the stuff Paul McCartney has done since 1966 means if he was replaced with a doppleganger, that doppleganger is now much, much more accomplished than Paul ever was, so maybe it’s a good thing he was waiting anonymously in the wings to replace one half of the Lennon-McCartney songwriting duo without a hiccough or word of protest from the other Beatles, two of whom would have been only too delighted to get more solo songwriting credit if Paul was no longer able to contribute instead of being the workaholic of the group.

#25

Back in the 1920s Al Smith ran for president. It was notable because he was the first candidate to run who was Catholic. During that time a picture of him during the opening of the Holland Tunnel in New York made the rounds in newspapers around the country.

So what did anti-Catholic nutjobs believe? They believed that he was going to build a tunnel from New York to the Vatican in order to take direct orders from the Pope. Not a metaphorical tunnel where the pope would have his ears, but a *literal* tunnel that one could walk or presumably take a train or something to have direct communication with the pope. An actual tunnel from New York, under the Atlantic, to mainland Europe, all the way to Rome.

Dumbass, absurd conspiracy theories are nothing new.

#26

Just the other day in the conspiracy sub

”the vax has killed 17 million people”.

#27

The one where hundred of Qanon people waited for days for JFK jr to appear in Dallas just to reinstate Donald Trump as the Potus.

Even if JFK jr did not actually die in 1999 and somehow successfully hid himself from the world, there would be no law allowing sons of presidents to reinstate presidents.

#28

The Jews drinking baby shakes.

The government implanting us with microscopic WiFi signals through food and tap water (the lady I work with takes boric acid baths to battle this and comes in with horrid ugly lesions).

#29

The profits will trickle down.

#30

I don’t know where it came from or how wide-spread it was, but when Obama’s grandmother died, my batshit aunt and uncle were positive he had her murdered because she was about to spill the beans that he was really born in Kenya.

#31

Flat Earth Theory.

#32

That a reality TV game show clown, who committed sexual assault and ran a fraudulent charity and a fraudulent university, and ripped off blue collar contractors, had a presidential election “stolen” from him.

#33

The one where, if you get a magnet wet it stops being a magnet.

#34

It’s always going to be flat Earth. Surreal that in the 21st century there is a non-zero number of people who actually believe the planet is flat.

#35

JFK and/or JFK Jr are alive and are going to show up in Dealy Plaza to help Trump in his quest to save America.

First off, they’re not alive. Even if JFK faked his death he would be like 110 by now. Second off, if they were going to show up it sure as hell wouldn’t be in the exact location that Sr’s head got blown off. Finally, they were both liberal Democrats, so the last person they would be helping would be Trump.

#36

There’s one that’s prevalent in the Middle East about Prince William. The theory is that, the Church of England was involved in the death of Princess Diana.

How does this work? Well, the theory is that Diana was about to marry Dodi al Fayed and to do so, would have to become a Muslim. This would mean that Prince William would have to become a Muslim (according to the theory, not according to reality) and then the whole of the UK would be forced to convert to Islam.

It’s completely ridiculous, but in some parts of the Middle East it’s taken as fact.

#37

Agartha – the idea that Earth is hollow and that the interior is inhabited.

#38

The “Ghost Buses” theory of Jan. 6.

I.e. that the FBI painted their most secretive buses a highly distinctive color.

#39

A coworker was convinced that the Covid vaccine was used to “herd the sheep” and kill the “demoncrats”. Everyone who had the vaccine was going to die according to him, so I let him know that if that happened the country would collapse. There wouldn’t be enough people to run water plants, electric plants, etc. he then told me they have people on stand by to replace that idiots who took the vaccine. I asked him where the 200 million people were at that were replacing the 200 million that were gonna die. And he looked at me like I was the idiot.

#40

My grandma told me recently that I shouldn’t be giving my daughter M&Ms after posting a cute video of her enjoying them.

See my grandma turned into a q anoner and shes convinced that the democrats are actually demons and that they are going to activate nano bots in ( M&M )to stop everyones hearts using the 5g network.

She even puts her stuff in a special bag to block signals when she is meeting with her nutjub friends.

So ya, thats all I got for now. I love my grandma and trying to help her see reason.

#41

That OJ’s son killed Nicole brown and Ron Goldman.

#42

The Joe Rogan hoax that kids were identifying as cats so there were litter boxes set in school hallways.

#43

Jewish space lasers.

#44

Bill Gates implanting Microchips in people with a covid 19 vaccination.

#45

Stevie Wonder can actually see.

#46

The sovereign citizen BS they read and believe.

#47

That a plucky group of oil executives and politicians are the only thing that stands between us and the ravages of evil climate scientists.

#48

Michelle Obama was born male and the Obama’s children were both born through a surrogate.

#49

Pizzagate. Never would have thought that anyone would fall for it. But damn, right wingers are stupid.

#50

That president’s control gas prices at all gas stations.

#51

Anything that starts with “the jews…”.