Hey, chemtrail conspiracy theorists, answer these 20 questions to gain legitimacy | Opinion

AI-assisted summary
• Some people believe the government is spreading toxic chemicals through airplane trails, dubbed “chemtrails.”
• The author presents a series of logistical questions to challenge the plausibility of such a large-scale operation remaining secret.
• The author challenges proponents of the theory to provide concrete evidence beyond the observation of contrails.

I love a good conspiracy theory. Occasionally, you come across one that makes you stop and think.

On the other hand, there are many that make you wonder where the ocean goes when it reaches the edge of a flat Earth.

Over the past 25 years or so, many hokey hypotheses have gained traction because the internet makes it much easier for people to connect over whatever it is they believe.

The most recent item to spread like the convergence of hot water vapor with cold air at high altitudes is the idea of chemtrails.

Yes, there is a growing number of people who believe “they” — vague amorphous operatives in the federal government — are intentionally trying to poison parts of the country by trailing clouds of toxic substances from aircraft.

The Global Wellness Forum, a group co-founded by Marla Maples, ex-wife of President Donald Trump, is leading a charge that has made enough headway to where there is now a bill being looked at by the Florida legislature to address concerns of people who think the skies are being seeded with poisonous, weather-manipulating substances.

For me, or our state government, to buy into this theory, I think the Florida Legislature needs comprehensive answers to this list of questions:

1. With more than 45,000 commercial flights a day, is every plane outfitted with the needed equipment to seed the skies?
2. Is this substance mixed with fuel, or in separate canisters, like a crop-duster?
3. Do the pilots know their planes carry this substance?
4. If they know, do they have to flip a switch to release the substance?
5. Is it just big planes, or small ones?
6. Is this a U.S. conspiracy or global one? After all, contrails can be seen in countries other than the U.S.
7. Is the massive contrail that follows behind a SpaceX rocket, or previously, space shuttles, putting Florida’s Space Coast more at risk than other places?
8. Are plane manufacturers like Boeing in on the conspiracy?
9. If you have more than 45,000 pilots and 45,000 co-pilots a day in on it, plus the people filling the canisters on the ground, as well as those manufacturing it, plus the people at Boeing and other aircraft manufacturers, isn’t it odd there’s never been one whistleblower or an ounce of proof this exists?
10. Where are these chemicals manufactured?
11. What’s in them?
12. If there’s a depot that manufactures enough chemicals to go into 45,000 planes daily, wouldn’t there be some ridiculously-sized refinery somewhere making and storing this?
13. Is that refinery in the U.S.?
14. If it’s not, is it in some foreign land?
15. If it’s in a foreign land, wouldn’t there be a whistleblower or some evidence there?
16. If the U.S. has the capability to create massive storms, wouldn’t they also have the ability to stop them?
17. For those who believe the government doesn’t want to stop killer storms, can one of them provide proper reasoning?
18. Where’s funding for this coming from? Considering many conspiracy theorists believe this is a left-wing conspiracy, wouldn’t Elon Musk and DOGE find a huge bill for unlabeled chemicals somewhere in the national budget?
19. Aside from seeing the “chemtrails” hundreds of miles in the sky, is there any other concrete evidence someone can provide?
20. Do any of these conspiracy theorists understand how the convergence of hot water vapor created by plane engines and cold air masses high in the atmosphere works?

OK. I think I’ll stop there. I’ve given our state representatives enough questions to work with. If they can answer these questions and show conclusive confirmation of calamity in the clouds, then the next time I see a plane fly overhead with a white trail behind it, I’ll shake my fist at the sky and email the Global Wellness Forum to let them know I’ll join in their fight.

Walters can be reached at twalters@gannett.com