Gov. DeSantis, Florida lawmakers help spread ‘chemtrails’ conspiracy theory | Opinion

It looks like Gov. Ron DeSantis has tossed his tin-foil hat into the ring on the not-so-great debate over unknown “theys” trying to poison Floridians through “chemtrails” in the sky.

It used to be that you had to seek out Alex Jones and other lunatic-fringe professionals to indulge in this sort of contrived conspiracy theory banter.

But now, you just have to tune into the Florida government to scratch your crazy itch.

DeSantis, declaring that we here in Florida are “proud of our sunshine” – bless his heart – has vowed to put an end to an imaginary, secret government practice of intentionally blocking the sun over Florida. 

“People have a lot of kooky ideas that they can get in and put things in the atmosphere to block the sun and save us from climate change. We’re not playing that game in Florida,” DeSantis said in a recorded message posted on social media.

It’s so adorable when DeSantis tries to burnish some tough-guy street cred by standing tall against nothing. It’s default DeSantis.

(In other news, we’re not “playing that game” with the giant, costumed Easter Bunnies at the malls, either. You’re scaring our hard-working toddlers half to the death. Take your chocolate socialism and carrot-vegan agenda elsewhere.)

Conspiracy theorists believe contrails are intentional and poisonous

Bolstered by the empowering of renowned kook, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. as the new head of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, there’s a movement in Florida and other similarly feeble-minded states to write laws that mainstream paranoia about the government-backed aerial poisoning of the American people, which is sometimes called “geoengineering.”

“We are going to stop these crimes,” Kennedy vowed last August.

Florida’s just being the Kato to his Green Hornet. 

But don’t expect results. Ever since the U.S. government began experimenting with cloud seeding decades ago to bring rain to drought-stricken agricultural land or to control wildfires, conspiracy theorists have let their imaginations run wild.

This has led them to single out the often visible condensation from aircraft engines on jets flying at colder high altitudes. This condensation turns to ice crystals called “contrails” that often span the sky.

Conspiracy theorists have convinced millions of people that many of these white streaks of water vapor across the sky are really a mix of deadly heavy metals dropped day and night for the secret purpose of creating a permanent haze that dims the sun. 

And these so-called “chemtrails” are spreading everything from autism to Alzheimer’s disease to the people living below them, they say.

Apparently, this is being done with the backing and support of a shadowy bunch of “theys” that often include billionaire Bill Gates, the United Nations and fill-in-the-blank Democrats in high levels of government. 

This kind of disinformation reached a fever pitch last October after Hurricanes Helene and Milton battered the Southeastern United States, particularly in parts of Florida and North Carolina.

Tens of millions of social media posts pushed claims that the storms were preceded by an unusual number of “chemtrails” in the sky and that the hurricanes were an attempt by the Biden Administration to wipe out Republican voters in key states a month before the election.

“Treason Alert: The Biden-Harris Admin Have Been in Control of Hurricanes Helene and Milton Using Pentagon Weather Weapons,” was a headline in the Alex Jones site, InfoWars.

New legislations sets out to fight an imaginary problem

This was the backdrop for the proposed Florida weather-manipulation bill that is up for consideration now.

And it doesn’t seem to matter that for decades these claims have been categorically refuted by multiple government agencies.

The Federal Aviation Administration (FAA), the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA), the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) and the U.S. Air Force have repeatedly and emphatically tried to dispel the baseless claims of a secret government campaign to poison the American people from the sky.

The Florida Senate Bill (SB-56) establishes a hotline number for citizens to call about trails they are seeing in the sky. This will scramble the Florida Department of Environmental Protection (DEP) to alert the Florida Department of Health to race to the scene and do air quality samples under the path of the contrail. 

And that puts the Florida Department of Emergency Services on notice to “step in to mitigate”, said the bill’s sponsor, Ileana Garcia, a Republican who lists an educational background that culminates in senior year at Miami Senior High School. 

The bill calls for the mysterious violators to be fined $100,000 so “they know we mean business,” Garcia said.

The proposed legislation got rougher treatment in the Florida House last week, where committee members in the House Natural Resources and Disasters Subcommittee ended up passing a bill that allowed “weather modification operations” in Florida, as long as these operations were licensed by the state. Unlicensed violators would be fined $10,000 under the bill. 

This set off DeSantis, who backs the sky-is-falling Senate bill and regards the House bill as an endorsement of weather modification in the state. 

That’s why he’s speaking out now about how proud he is of Florida’s sunshine. And how we won’t let “them” take it from us, no matter who the “them” are. Or aren’t. 

Can we move on to those mall Easter Bunnies now?

Frank Cerabino is a news columnist with The Palm Beach Post, part of the USA Today Network- Florida. He can be reached at FCerabino@pbpost.com.