‘You lose people very quickly’: Talking to friends or family who are down the anti-vaccine rabbit hole
After the border closures and lockdowns last year, Suzanne was looking forward to finally going north to see her daughter and grandchildren in Queensland.
But a few days ago, a message from her daughter put her plans on hold.
Suzanne, who’s in her 70s, plans to get the COVID-19 vaccine as soon as possible, but her daughter says she won’t see her mother if she’s been vaccinated.
“We were told if we’d had the vaccine, we shouldn’t come up,” Suzanne, who lives in NSW, told the ABC.
Suzanne’s daughter, who practices “healing therapy” in a small town north of Brisbane, repeated a debunked conspiracy theory that the COVID-19 vaccine spreads the disease itself.
She’d read this on the website of a global organisation known for spreading anti-vaccine misinformation.
“She told us none of us were welcome to visit her for three months after we were vaccinated,” Suzanne said.
Vaccines and their safety have been a source of conflict in the family for some time — Suzanne’s grandchildren were not vaccinated and so couldn’t mix with their cousins, who were vaccinated — but the pandemic has brought this to a head.
Vaccines now “dominate” her daughter’s conversation and make it very hard for the family to get along, Suzanne said.
“I said I’m not getting involved — I’m not being a fence-sitter, but I feel the more I fight with her, the further I push her away,” she said.
The fine line between argument and division
Suzanne’s fear that arguing with her daughter will only push her further away — and towards anti-vaxxers — is a sentiment often heard when speaking to people whose loved ones have gone down the rabbit hole of anti-vaccine conspiracy theories.
Frances, who lives in Victoria, told the ABC she faces this problem, as lifelong friends of Frances’s elderly mother have become strident anti-vaxxers over the course of the pandemic.
They’re now trying to convince Frances’s mother, who’s in her 70s, not to get the COVID-19 vaccine.
The more Frances argues with them and her mother, the more she fears that the issue of the vaccine is ruining their relationship.
And yet she can’t give up.
“She’s still on the fence,” Frances said.
“But I’m scared she too will get caught in the web of articles and go down the rabbit hole and not get the vaccine.”
Anti-vaccine views are very rare, but higher for COVID
Fortunately, stories like Suzanne’s and Frances’s are rare in Australia.
The vast majority of Australians plan to take the COVID vaccine when it’s available, according to most recent studies.
A small proportion — between 15 and 27 per cent — are hesitant or unsure about getting the jab.
And an even smaller (but louder) fraction of Australians — about 4 to 8 per cent — say outright they would refuse the COVID-19 vaccine.
ABC News: Scott Mitchell
)That’s low, but significantly higher than has been the case with other vaccines, such as measles.
There’s some worrying evidence anti-vaccine views have become more common. A recent survey from the Australian National University found the proportion of Australians who say they “probably or definitely” would not get the vaccine has increased since August.
What these statistics show is that for at least a small number of families and friendship groups, the rollout of the COVID-19 vaccine in Australia is creating argument and division.
The issue is so important that often neither side is willing to give in.
‘The more you push, the more they push back’
Sometimes this division can follow generational lines — as with Suzanne and her daughter.
Surveys show elderly people are significantly more likely to want to get the vaccine as soon as possible, compared with people under the age of 34.
Other times the division matches state borders and different experiences of lockdown.
Peter, who lives in Perth, has a close friend in Melbourne who he says became “unhinged” during the Victorian capital’s second-wave lockdown.
At the time, Peter thought his friend’s phase of “QAnon-style” conspiracy theories would pass after the “cabin fever” of staying home lifted.
But instead, it morphed into hardcore opposition to the coronavirus vaccine.
When Peter argued in support of the vaccine, his friend of 25 years pushed him away.
“The more you push, the more they push back,” Peter said.
Six steps for talking to people unsure about the vaccine
Speaking to close friends or family members who have entrenched anti-vaccine views is a much harder problem than answering the questions of someone who is simply a bit unsure about vaccine safety.
People who are vaccine hesitant tend to be willing to change their minds in response to credible information and argument, whereas anti-vaxxers, by definition, are not.
The furious campaigning of anti-vaccine groups can offer a firm, emotional narrative and community amid the unpredictability of a pandemic.
The scientific method, on the other hand, emphasises caution and uncertainty.
Conversations about the vaccine are “absolutely” happening all over Australia, according to Jessica Kaufman, an expert on vaccination communication at the University of Melbourne and Murdoch Children’s Research Institute.
In some cases, she said, it may be best to not have the conversation at all.
“First of all, it’s worth reminding people that they don’t have to take on this argument,” she said.
Dr Kaufman and other experts have come up with a six-step guide to speaking to people who are unsure about COVID vaccines.
- 1.Don’t jump to conclusions. Be prepared to listen
- 2.Ask yourself: is it worth engaging? People who feel strongly against vaccination probably won’t be open to changing their minds
- 3.Acknowledge people’s concerns (without necessarily validating them)
- 4.Address misinformation when it pops up (answer questions like, how do we know the vaccines are safe?)
- 5.Act as a role model. Research shows we listen to our peers and people we trust
- 6.Keep the conversation going and encourage people to look for trusted sources of information.
For those with friends and family who are stridently opposed to vaccines (rather than being unsure), their progress through the six steps may stop at step two.
It may be best to avoid the topic altogether, Dr Kaufman said.
“Make an assessment whether they have an entrenched conspiracy position or whether they have questions,” she said.
“Engaging every time they want to fight about it can make them more entrenched in their views.
Unfortunately, she added, “there’s not a lot of great evidence about how to change someone’s mind” when they believe in conspiracy theories.
Sometimes the best thing a person can do, Dr Kaufman said, is to maintain the relationship.
“We do know, in general, people are more likely to trust people close to them,” she said.
“Maintaining a relationship is a good way to keep them from going into a bubble.
“Keep the conversation open.”
This was also the uneasy solution landed on by many of those who shared with the ABC their stories of holding together relationships with loved ones who’ve been spouting anti-vaccine conspiracy theories.
When texting his old friend, Peter now avoids any topic to do with COVID-19, politics, or the media.
“I’m finding I’m editing myself,” Peter said.
“We’ve been friends for so long that it’s not funny.”
Suzanne is also trying to walk a delicate line between being showing support and love to her daughter, while not supporting her anti-vaccine views.
“We say yes we support you to have a choice about vaccines, but we just don’t support your choice,” she said.
‘Don’t borrow fear from tomorrow’
Dr Kaufman’s other piece of advice is simple: relax.
The vaccine is in the news, but it may be months before it’s available to most Australians.
Rates of strident anti-vaccination are very low in Australia by world standards.
At least some people may be gradually convinced that vaccines are safe simply by observing the rollout in Australia.
France, Italy and other European countries with more advanced rollouts have observed a steady increase in public vaccine acceptance.
“People are worried and talking about it a lot, but it’ll be months before most will be asked to make a decision,” Dr Kaufman said.
“They don’t have to make up their mind this minute.
With all the necessary focus on vaccine safety, it can be easy to forget the enormous benefits conferred by the vaccine.
“If a person likes travel, link vaccination to travel,” Dr Kaufman said.
“If they want to see people overseas, ask them how they see that working if they don’t have a vaccine.”
For elderly friends and family, such as Frances’s mother, it may be useful to offer to help them look up answers to questions they don’t know, Dr Kaufman said.
“It could be they’re not sure where to go, or not sure how to go about booking the vaccine.
“Help them navigate the system.”
*** This article has been archived for your research. The original version from ABC News can be found here ***
