Quite a few Qminal Qnspracies Qleverly Qncealed in Arizona audit

Some of you can see though the conspiracy.

Or should I say, the conspiracy within the conspiracy to unearth the conspiracy?

You’ve already sent me messages – coded, in some cases – that you know someone must have gotten to the Cyber Ninjas in order for them to affirm the fact that President Joe Biden won the election.

Some of you even suggest that it was me who got to the Ninjas, along with unnamed co-conspirators who are even more sinister and unscrupulous than a newspaper columnist.

As if such a thing is possible.

Trust me.

No.

In fact, I am with you.

Unearthing the whole audit story

The audit may say that Biden won, but you and I know that is not the whole story.

Conspiracy auditors would understand that there are conspirators conspiring to create alternative conspiracies, perhaps even headquartered in that Washington, D.C., pizza parlor from which cannibalistic Democratic pedophiles are running a human smuggling operation.

The key, as some of you know, is not what is written in the report, but what some of us are able to discern between the lines.

Of course, the Illuminati, operating most likely from their secret underground complex beneath the Denver airport, don’t want us to know that.

That’s probably why they tried to prevent columnists like me from exposing their dastardly plan by controlling my thoughts by way of a microchip inserted into my COVID-19 vaccine.

Thank goodness for chemtrails

Luckily for me, the electronic signal from the chip was short-circuited when I passed beneath a shower of synthetic molecules emitted from the chemtrail of jetliners flying overhead, a counter measure that may or may not have been orchestrated by the New World Order, now in control of the Deep State.

Or was it QAnon?

It doesn’t matter. And don’t you worry.

We will get to the bottom of this sham audit of a sham audit.

It will take money, of course, lots of it, but a source of the funding is already in the works.

I have been in email contact with a “Nigerian prince” who currently has access to a massive fortune in his country and is offering to provide me with a handsome share if I send him my bank account number so that he can transfer the funds to me.

After that, we’ll be able to hire some real audit ninjas to unearth what happened in the election.

In the meantime, have no doubt, I will not be silenced. Nothing ordered by the malevolent, hidden powers that be will shut me u … .

Reach Montini at ed.montini@arizonarepublic.com.

For more opinions content, please subscribe.

*** This article has been archived for your research. The original version from The Arizona Republic can be found here ***