Perspective | Miss Manners: I moved back near my hometown during covid. Now, I think it was a mistake.

By Judith Martin, Nicholas Martin and Jacobina Martin,

Dear Miss Manners: I made the mistake, during covid, of buying and renovating a home in the town where my parents and sister live. It’s right next to the town where I grew up — which I hated. However, there are some wonderful people in this “next-door” town, where my parents have lived for 25 years.

While the sale of my former house covered most of the renovation expenses, my dad generously paid for the rest, saying that it was part of my inheritance in advance. But I am miserable here in this beautiful house because I feel I have nothing in common, politically or lifestyle-wise, with the people who live here. Many of the residents are my parents’ age or older.

The house itself is on a highway, so the traffic is loud, and it’s also famously haunted, which I didn’t realize when I bought it. There are noises all night, and I can’t sleep.

I’ve tried to make friends here and reconnect with relatives and people I knew during childhood, and although there have been some great moments, there have also been some shockingly rude and downright frightening ones.

For instance, one night I went out with my parents’ friends’ daughter, and she arranged for her boyfriend to meet us there. Two hours into the evening, they asked me to sleep with them. When I said no, she refused to talk to me as if I was the offensive party!

I have tried to reconnect with several other people, only to be met with terrorist propaganda. In short, I am in rural hell — single and surrounded by conspiracy theorists.

How do I tell my parents and my sister, who were so excited to have me here, that this is breaking my heart and I want my old life back? And how do I pay my father back?

Blame it on the ghosts. If the house is a terror to live in (in many ways, it seems), your conspiracy-loving friends will no doubt understand your desire to move.

That your fear must take you miles outside the town and back into the city will, Miss Manners suggests you emphasize, confirm just how deep this conspiracy runs. Paying your father back, on the other hand, will be dependent on how fast the current house sells. Which may well also be up to the ghosts.

Dear Miss Manners: My delightful co-worker has a baffling habit of saying “Huh?” just a moment after I start speaking. I note that she mostly says “Huh?” during my introductory remarks — “In case you didn’t notice …” or “For whatever it’s worth …” or some such — which people commonly murmur or rush through.

I feel goofy repeating the intro, but moving along to my point seems as though I ignored her. What is the most polite, respectful response to a quick “Huh?”

“Oh, sorry, I hadn’t come to my point yet. Can you not hear me? I’ll try to talk louder.” Miss Manners suggests that you repeat as necessary until your co-worker’s eardrums are successfully retrained.

New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday through Saturday on washingtonpost.com/advice. You can send questions to Miss Manners at her website, missmanners.com. You can also follow her @RealMissManners.

2021, by Judith Martin

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